we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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