He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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