she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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