I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize