i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize