My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
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threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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