So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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