The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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