Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She bit a glass in half.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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