it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize