Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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