we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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