I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize