I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize