before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize