You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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