you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
being pregnant is like rehab
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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