9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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