Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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