She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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