I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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