I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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