I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize