i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize