First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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