you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Randomize