I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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