He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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