Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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