After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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