a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize