***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize