i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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