Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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