I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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