We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize