conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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