He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
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That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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