He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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