Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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