i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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