i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize