i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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