You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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