I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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