I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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