why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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