He asked to "fluff my boner.."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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