My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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