shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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